4. Female Problem: Adapting, Neglecting Yourself and Forgetting Your Own Importance
If women have one persistent problem, it is Adaptation. Neglecting yourself, being considerate of others and placing the needs of others before your own. It has become so natural that many women are not even aware of it anymore. Recently, I spoke with a client who realised that she was very aware of her neighbor’s presence. Whenever her neighbor was at home, she would tiptoe across the gravel path to her house.
Are you aware that your mood worsens when you think about home or work? When you have a plan, do you let someone talk you out of it?
When you adapt all the time, life becomes difficult and oppressive. It is striking that the word “Freedom” is one of the top 10 passwords, according to Yahoo! Apparently, many people apparently long for it.
Signals that you are trapping yourself
Demeaning yourself: you never say what you are good at. You keep quiet, because your opinion is different. You wear clothes with inconspicuous colors.
You don’t live life to the fullest and lack radiance. And why? At some point you decided not to.
How did this happen? Because your mother instilled this in you? “A lady doesn’t talk like that.” “A girl is supposed to behave herself.” Or, “Don’t contradict your mother”. Or did you simply copy her example? Did she hold her tongue, meekly but reluctantly going along with your father? Was she always working without taking a break? Always being considerate of others: “Not so loud, think of the neighbors”. Whatever it was, we have unconsciously copied our mothers.
It’s your life
We are all familiar with what you read above. And you also know the advice that follows: “Get over it.” “She means well.” “She’s always worked hard.” “Just let go.”
This seems obvious and simple, but it isn’t. Our loyalty to our mothers gets in the way. It seems like many women spend their whole lives trying to free themselves from their mothers’ influence. The “Big Key” to life turns out to be accepting your mother for who she was and how she lived her life. And to decide that that you have your own life. This decision is half the work!
Own yourself using the MIR-Method
The other half is the MIR-Method. Steps 1, 2 and 5 support the other 6 steps, in the sense that healthy and free thinking is easier in a healthy body.
Step 3. ‘Detach mother’ is the key for choosing to lead your own life and follow your own path. Your mother led her life her way. You have your own life to lead. You must decide how you want to live it. With step 3 you slowly but surely erase all the convictions, behaviors and decisions that you have adopted from your mother. The other steps of the MIR-Method will help you with this.
Step 4. ‘Clear meridians’. When the kidney meridian is blocked, we continuously live in a state of fear (for ex. fear of arguing). When the bladder meridian is blocked we live in a state of insecurity and it is more difficult to make decisions. Because of this, many women have problems related to urination and the bladder. Headaches can also result; the bladder meridian starts in your head, near the nose where your eyebrows begin.
Step 6. ‘Balance hormone system’ is directly linked to step 3. In the areas in which you are still attached to your mother, a disturbance occurs in your hormone system. That can result in menopausal complaints, or for example, thyroid problems.
Step 7. ‘Fulfill basic needs’ plays a central role in reclaiming your freedom. When you stroke your hand during this step, you increase the strength of your Independence, Self-worth, Self-love, ability to set Boundaries, Encouragement and speaking of your Truth.
Step 8. ‘Optimize Chakras and Aura’. Chakra 3 is one of the most important chakras for this. When it is strengthened, you stand up for yourself, become more strong-willed and your self-worth grows. Chakra 5, the throat chakra, also strengthens, which causes you to become more willful to say what you have to say. It becomes easier for you to set boundaries or to give your opinion. This can sometimes cause women to become “crabby” or “snappy”, one of the side effects at the start of the MIR-Method. This is part of setting new boundaries. It goes away when you have regained your balance.
Finally, step 9. ‘Clarify mission’ is a great support with this. As it slowly becomes clearer what the purpose of your life is, you will see that you can make your own choices. You can decide to follow your unique life path. This frees you to take the steps you so deeply long to take!
Do you identify with this? Does this explanation clarify something for you? Want to share it with me? Let me hear from you by posting your message below (press End). Thank you!
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P.S. Not familiar with the MIR-Method yet? Please go to the homepage. You can watch the video there and also the instruction video. Sign up for our newsletter and 6 weeks of coaching e-mails for extra support!
Hi,everytime I do the method for 4 week I become weepy and irritated with everyone and everything around me. I think I am detoxing but I stop because I cant stand being that way. What advice do you have for me?f
Yes, that is very possible. Please look inward to find out why you are so angry inside. And please, drink much water when you pick up the MIR-Method again. It helps you to detox more quickly. When you don’t drink water, the toxification process causes the irritation due to the fact that the liver will have to much burden.
My mother is not so problematic. It’s my step sister from my mother’s first marriage. She has near destroyed me treating me as though I’m o was her daughter to manipulate my 90,yearvold mother.
It’s my 53 birthday and the worst day of my life. I have left my partner been terrified of my sister and her tenant for four years. All my fault but when people manipulate with threats and bribes and you are not versed in their tactics because you didn’t do it yourself. She coorhanised with a friend who nearly had me committed because I was not intetesyed in a lesbianism relationship with her. I I will stop writing g I. I doubted g this on the phone. I was do traumatised by Johns violence and then that of my sister that living at my mother’s house I could not bear to wash my hair for nine months. I am still traumatised be a use I didn’t go with John now to escape my sister.
I have been MIR, ING for a week. When I do it I felt stronger inner tween tine so bad still.
I now fade John violence if and when I go back to my farm. I tried to speak with N y sister about f my fears but she turned it back on me.
Don’t trust your sister it may not only the e your mother
I really hope you will find some other people who can help you. Being manipulated is quite severe and takes years to get it out of your system. Take care and please ask for help. Maybe from a pediatrician?
Greetings, Mireille Mettes
It is so very interesting! I always relate my life, my health to my mother’s. And I don’t want to always be sick, as she was. I an sure my leg, not healing completely, has to do with that fact. But I still haven’t been successful in reversing this situation. Any advice?
You’re already very conscious of the way your mother set an example and how you are not willing to follow in her footsteps. Just keep doing the MIR-Method and you will detach yourself from the way your mother has lived her life.
Greetings, Mireille Mettes