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34. Why Bullies Bully — 8 Comments

  1. I truly appreciate your article on bullying – it is a crucial, critical and horrid issue that must to be addressed and must be stopped. Being close to retirement age, I have a somewhat different story which may need to be addressed somewhat differently. Like the bullying survivors you wrote about, I was, of course, held up for ridicule at every opportunity, trapped into unwinnable situations, and completely ostracized by my school mates and peer group, And not just peers, but teachers, parents, practically everyone I encountered during my primary education. But in addition to the more typical humiliations and psychological damage you address, I was regularly physically beaten beyond recognition by these bullies – whether at school, on the streets, or at the hands of my own parents I was mercilessly beaten by bullies of all strains. None of my teachers or relatives intervened or tried to protect me in any way, they were far more likely to abuse me. After a time, I naturally internalized all of this, thinking that I must have done something terrible to deserve it. Despite much effort by many people, these are the sorts of things that never leave one’s psyche, and prevent one from living a full, or at least normal, life. For 12+ years, I lay awake at night wanting to die rather than face the humiliation and beatings that awaited me the following day. And none of my teachers or relatives intervened or tried to protect me in any way, they were far more likely to abuse me. I lay awake at night wanting to die rather than face the humiliation and beating that awaited me the next day. These scars have robbed me of my life for over 55 years, and no modality has gone untried – the MIR method, the tapping solution, spiritual guides, energy healers, CBT, psychiatrists and psychologists, not to mention my 50 years of regularly practicing yoga and meditation. And none of these modalities have been able to return me to the person I was meant to be. Do you have any suggestions, And are there advanced MIR techniques that may be of help? Thank you so much for your insightful article, and for addressing the very serious topic of bullying, and for all you do.

    • Dear John,
      Such a sad story you have to tell… it’s heartbreaking. In those days people somehow just froze when they noticed someone was beaten and didn’t act. Or they might have thought what you thought in the end: that you deserved the beating. Because beating was back then a way to disciplin children. I am very sorry to hear how hard your life has been. And… I am glad that you are still with us! So many bullied people end their lives, understandably.
      If you do the MIR-Method, you can try several other things. You can try to forgive yourself for believing you deserved it. Place your hand on your heart while doing the 9 steps. And whenever you have a nightmare or you relive a fragment of the past, do the MIR-Method First Aid. It is in the Additional Techniques.
      Besides that, you could book a consultation with a MIR-Method coach. They know techniques to get rid of old useless emotions so that your emotional world can feel free.
      Hope you can have some lighthearted years ahead!
      (And maybe… encourage others to keep building awareness around bullying…? Step 9.)
      Greetings,
      Mireille Mettes

  2. Dear Ms Mettes,
    I appreciate this article, especially the mention of the MIR-Method. I’ve been bullied upwards of five years now, simply for the way I smell. “Well, start washing more frequently”, I hear you say, and I have done that, and yet it doesn’t stop.

    I’m hoping this MIR-Method will help me clear my mind and let me go beyond these meagre comments about a superficial thing. Again, thanks for the article and the mention of this method. I feel like it’ll help in the long run

    Danke,Joseph

    • Dear Joseph,
      I truly hope you will benefit from the MIR-Method! And yes, it takes some time for it to work, so thank you for understanding it will help you in the long run. Though several people have reported miracle changes, but usually it is over a longer period of time. Thank you for embracing the MIR-Method and I hope the bullying will stop soon!
      Keep it up!
      Greetings, Mireille Mettes

  3. Good Day Mireille!
    I am very grateful for your gift of this article today.
    Yesterday my husband and and I where actually talking about bulling and about leaders intimiding their own people. I really feel strongly about this subject and now understand why.
    My own father Was and is a bully as well.
    This article has made me understand at a deeper level Many new aspects about this
    Subject.
    Love, BLessings and Healing to you always Mireille.

    • Dear Claire,
      I am SO happy for you about what you suddenly realized about your father! This is exactly why step 3 can be so important! It is one of the things that make people hide all their lives. I hope for you you can heal it all inside and you will flourish again!
      Greetings and love!
      Mireille Mettes

  4. Dear Mireille.
    Thank you for this beautiful article. I am doing the MIR-Method for 4 or 5 months now and this was the piece of the puzzle I was still missing. I never realized that being bullied had such an impact on me. After reading this, I realize that this has been a theme throughout my whole life. I was bullied as a child, but also as an adult. I never understood why, but was always very alert and suspicious of people. I didn’t get that and could never relax.
    Now I see it is because of the bullying!
    Because of this insight I can let it go now, be who I am, although nobody understands anything about me (that is the reason I was bullied I guess).
    From the deepest of my heart, thank you for this insight.
    Namasté, Marjolein

    • Dear Marjolein,
      I am very happy to hear how this article touched you! May you let go of all that bullying from the past and really radiate again! And I am very glad that you are different!
      With love,
      Mireile Mettes

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