65. Do the Test of Approval
The MIR-Method has many effects on your inner life. You throw away old burdens and you clear up hindrances. That causes you to feel less held back by your old patterns. One of those patterns is taking other people into consideration. Sometimes you see it in how you react to someone who comes to visit. Does the thought of their coming already make you nervous? Do you start cleaning up? Fold the wash? Quickly do the dishes? Is the garden neat enough? Do I still have stains on my clothes? Is the children’s hair neat enough? They should have actually gone to the hairdresser but there’s no more time for that…
How do you react to comments?
Visitors! Stress! I often hear people around me mentioning it. Quickly, clean up! It seems to be a stubborn thing. You continue to be nervous when company comes. The cause can be found in your childhood. Parents who were critical, who always made comments, made you feel nervous as a child. The fear of doing the wrong thing, of being rejected, is then huge and it subconsciously remains in your system.
Teasing the child
What I never understood is why children have to wear especially nice Sunday clothes. Then there was the visit at your grandparents and after the required sitting still and letting the grown-ups talk, you were allowed outside to play. But, of course, it’s dirty outside: mud, puddles or that wonderful green stuff on trees. And what was the reception to your dirty clothes when you came inside again? Your parents’ reaction is determinate for your life. Plus the way you reacted to it. Did it give you the feeling that it was better not to go on adventures? That it’s better not to get dirty, to make mistakes? Did it cause you to not dare to undertake things? To rather not get your hands dirty? Rather not start anything?
Test of approval
How do you know if you are free, or if you let other people limit you? You know that by how you act when company’s coming. Test yourself with the answers to these questions:
- Does it matter to you how what they’re going to comment?
- Do you suddenly start to clean up?
If you are nervous and you do your best to clear up the daily mess, then you are still trying to get your father or mother’s approval! If you don’t care and you feel completely free to show what your house looks like, how things are done, then there is a lot of inner freedom because you approve of yourself!
Release through the MIR-Method
Daily getting a lot of comments and criticism from your father of mother causes you to constantly be trained in “sit and give everyone a paw”. It makes you less able to make decisions when someone else doesn’t agree with you. What would he/she think? It keeps you dependent. The MIR-Method causes the dependence to slowly but surely leave your system. It gives you inner freedom.
- That comes, of course, from step 3: “Detach father. Detach mother”, as you probably already thought.
- And it also comes from step 7: “Fulfill basic needs”. The basic need for “Approval” is fulfilled and from now on, you can give yourself approval.
And how freeing is that! That you can say to yourself: “I’m good enough just as I am!” Or: “I did it well,” or “I made this decision and it’s good”. And it doesn’t matter that someone else has something to say about it. It’s his/her opinion and has nothing to do with you! Pure freedom!
And how about you? Have you noticed that what other people have to say bothers you less since doing the MIR-Method? Do you approve of yourself now? Please let me know about it below. Thank you!
My wish for you is that you can live fully free, released from other people’s comments!
P.S. Will you help spread the MIR-Method? You would do me a big favor by forwarding this article to other people! Feel free to post it to your Facebook page or send it via e-mail, Twitter or Linked-In! Use the icons on the left-hand side or below! Thank you!
P.S. Not familiar with the MIR-Method yet? Please go to the homepage. You can watch the video there and also the instruction video. Sign up for our newsletter and 6 weeks of coaching e-mails for extra support!
I started your method at the beginning of the plandemic & I supposed it helped me because I was the only one I knew personally thinking the way I did & I did not gave in at any time even though it was hard to be ostracized by the family & every body else. Pretty soon I realized I would not convince them & stopped trying to explain things they wouldn’t hear.
Thank you very much for your gift to the world it was very generous of you. Good luck to the M I R method.
What you say in this article is so so true and hit the nail on the head for me. I somewhere deep down still yearn for approval and wonder what peoe will think/say. But i know the MIR Method is helping me alot and thank you for all that you share with us. God bkess
Thank you for your wonderful work,the information your give is so helpful.
I am feeling so much better, more peaceful and have more energy.
My breathing problems are improving , my allergies are improving,
but my bronchitus is not so good.
do you ;have any advice for this?
Please allow your body time to heal. I am very happy for you that your health is improving! Bronchitis is an inflammation and if your immune system isn’t fully functioning yet, it can take time to heal. The 9 steps all work together to improve your immune system, but this process can take several months. If you cough up mucus, that is a very good sign that your body is cleaning up. Please just continu the 9 steps and wish you good luck! If you get impatient, you can always ask for a consultation with a MIR-Method coach.
Would you write articles about panic attack or jealousy,women issues like problems with ovaries?
Yes, I think those are great ideas, thank you. I did write about fear: ’12. Fear, What a Weird Emotion’. Jealousy is something I am working on right now. When I feel the message is complete, I will place it on the website. What kind of problems with ovaries are you suggesting? With fertility? That may be something else to discuss.
Thank you for the suggestions,
Greetings, Mireille Mettes
I can really relate to this information! I was subjected to a LOT of verbal abuse(& some severe physical)as a child. It ruined my life on a few levels but therapy and Self-Help over the years are helping me to feel better…make progress. I am very glad to also have your MIR Method that I started in April! It’s early but I notice feeling more Self-confident.
Blessings to you
I am very happy for you that you feel more self-confident. Great! Hope you can wipe out all that you had to endure in childhood! And that the real woman may come forward!
Lots of good luck to you!