37. Sexuality in Balance
Sexual tension is often hard to find in a relationship. The toothbrushes stand cozily next to each other in a glass and that’s as far as intimacy goes. One of the partner’s libidos can change or completely disappear in long-term relationships. Still, it doesn’t have to be lasting, as this woman wrote on the website:
“The biggest change is that I now sleep wonderfully deeply and long and that has given me so much rest. My sex life has also improved enormously. I can now receive which has increased the pleasure and the frequency. A real gift!” Wilma
The biggest problem with partners is when each has a different libido. The trick is then to agree with each other in such a way that both partners are content about it. If the libido of one of them has changed a great deal, the MIR-Method could help with that, for example by improving the ability to become aroused. This improvement comes through step 6, “Balance hormone system”. When your genitals are not producing enough “stimulating” hormones, your need for sex can diminish. When these organs work optimally again, your libido improves likewise.
Sexuality after pregnancy
For many couples the first year after a pregnancy is the least sexual year. The woman has gone through childbirth and is busy taking care of the young child. Maybe during childbirth the man stood at the wrong side of the bed and has seen too much of the birth itself. All of his sexual longing can be temporarily gone, in addition to the broken nights after the little one arrives. The trick is to respect each other and to understand that sex is not what it was. Hugs, kisses and cuddling up against each other are good alternatives.
Step 7: “Fulfill basic needs” plays a role in this. You fulfill the need for Security, Tenderness and Intimacy and you can slowly but surely once again grow towards a life with sex.
Self-confidence is everything
To have a good sex life, it is important that you have self-confidence. This means feeling good about yourself. You can appreciate your own body and it doesn’t bother you when your body doesn’t look like a model’s. You can enjoy your own body (it is so deliciously soft!) and can relax when you are touched. To expand that self-confidence, step 4, “Clear meridians”, lends a helping hand. The spleen meridian plays a large role in this. When this meridian flows freely again, your self-confidence will improve. That will enable you to indicate more strongly what you want and what you don’t want. The circulation meridian plays a large role in experiencing sexual drive. When it flows freely, your desire for sex is also freer.
Between the ears
Many problems revolving around sexuality can be found between the ears. That doesn’t mean you are kidding yourself but that your brains are in the way. Maybe you had bad sexual experiences; maybe you grew up in a family in which sexuality was spoken about too little or too often. Maybe you feel pressured about having to perform in bed.
When your upbringing is involved, step 3, “Detach father. Detach mother”, helps.
Step 8 “Optimize Chakras and Aura”. Finally, the chakras still play a large role with sexuality. Chakra 5, the throat chakra, plays a role in our willingness to talk about sex. If your throat chakra functions optimally, you are freer to say what you what and what you don’t want. Chakra 2 is the chakra that predominantly regulates your sexuality. It can be found in your abdomen. When this chakra is optimal, your creativity and sexuality flow.
Sexuality and healing old traumas
If it involves old traumas, all the steps help! Make sure you always say all 9 steps and stroke over your hand, returning to yourself the love that was hurt. Slowly, bad experiences disappear to the background and you return yourself to your original state: free and uninhibited.
I wish for you a loving and satisfying sex life and that the MIR-Method may help you with this. Much happiness!
Did you notice a difference in your sex life by doing the MIR-Method? Do you cuddle more often? Are you more free to talk about sex? Write about it below, if you like. You can leave out your name, of course! Hope to hear from you!
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P.S. Not familiar with the MIR-Method yet? Please go to the homepage. You can watch the video there and also the instruction video. Sign up for our newsletter and 6 weeks of coaching e-mails for extra support!
I have been divorced for 6 years after a 28 year marriage. And a grown son died suddenly almost 10 years ago.
I am terrified of letting a man close to me yet I am often lonely. I just don’t feel interesting enough or worthy of love. I don’t think I can give it or take it.
Also, do we do the MIR-Method for more than three months?
You have had your share of loss in your life and it was pretty harsh! Your body and energy system (meridians) need to let go of the grieving and the mourning. Once it is out of your system you can start building up your self esteem again. Everybody is worthy of love, we just don’t always feel it. Especially when there’s no one around to acknowledge it. Please make sure you join a group of people with similar interests, so you don’t go lonely for too long!
You can do the MIR-Method for longer than three months! For as long as your complaints are still noticeable!
Suggestion: ‘milt’ doesn’t translate easily, (I assume you mean to write ‘Spleen’ in English?) What do you mean? 🙂
Thank you for translating! You’re so right, I meant ‘spleen’. Your Dutch is quite good! 😉
Greetings, Mireille Mettes