“If you do the MIR-Method, your self-love grows.” That is quite a statement. However, I know that the MIR-Method has the potential for this and I see it happening to a lot of people. And “loving yourself” is often in the smallest things. What does it mean, “to love yourself”? Take good care of yourself? Be nice to yourself? These are big generalities that we often take for granted but I thought it would be nice to find out what they actually mean. If I love myself, what do I do, what do I say, what do I think? When do I love myself and when not? One obvious answer is, for example: When you say, “yes” when you feel “no” you are not loving yourself, but let me make it even more concrete.

Essentials for “loving yourself”

If I divide “love yourself” into categories, I come up with the following main points:

• Touch. You touch yourself tenderly and respectfully. You only allow the touch of others if it feels good to you, tender and loving.
• Interaction with things. Your dealings with things are calm and respectful.
• Care. You take care of your body and choose healthy food. You make sure to look groomed and clean.
• Maintenance. You take care of your things and possessions and deal wisely with money.
• Communication. You speak respectfully about yourself and about others.
• Truth. What you say is what you’ve experienced or what you have researched. You can support the claims you make.
• Exercise. You are active, move during the day and do the things you like to do.
• Self confidence. You stand up for yourself. You know what you like and what bothers you and say this to other people.

Inspiration for you

Below are 40 examples to make it as practical as possible. I hope that you can cross off a good many and that you find a few to work on.

What can you add to this? And… do you recognize yourself in these examples? I hope so! Let me know below!

1. You look in the mirror, see what you don’t like and then zoom out again to see the total picture and say to yourself: “No one will notice because I am so radiant.”
2. You put cream on your skin using slow, tender movements.
3. You move a chair calmly and with respect for the chair but also for the cabinet next to the chair, so that both the chair and the cabinet remain undamaged.
4. You calmly shut the car door, just shutting it.
5. When you eat, you slowly chew before swallowing it.
6. You leave a quarter of an hour early to make sure you’re on time for your appointment.
7. If someone is tailgating your car, you drive to the right and make sure you are safe.
8. You take the time to groom yourself: comb your hair, clip your nails, brush your teeth, etc.
9. When you look in the mirror, say, for example: “You’re doing your best and learning something new every day!”
10. You maintain your car and always fill the tank on time.
11. You drink a few glasses of water each day.
12. You look happily at your neighbor who tells you that they are celebrating their anniversary and you recognize their joy.
13. You ask your children to forgive you for yelling at them when you were actually tired.
14. When you hear that a family member has a big wish, you write it down and see how you can make it come true sometime during this year.
15. You buy a larger-sized pair of pants than you are used to because they are more comfortable.
16. You patiently wait until the person before you in the line at the cash register has bagged his groceries.
17. You don’t go to the supermarket unless you have eaten first so you can resist temptation better.
18. You express it when a colleague’s perfume is too strong for you. You practice beforehand, using soft words.
19. You tell your partner that you like having your cheek caressed.
20. You plan something fun for yourself in 3 weeks’ time so you have something to look forward to.
21. When you are angry, write about it or talk with someone about it so you can learn from it.
22. When you are tempted to buy candy at the counter, tell yourself what the consequences will be if you eat that.
23. You say, “Stop that!” when someone touches you too roughly.
24. When someone gossips about someone, don’t respond to it or ask instead, “How do you know that?”
25. Practice saying, “no” so you are ready when someone asks a favor of you: “No, I’m not going to do it” (possibly adding “sorry” if you find it difficult at first).
26. You buy vegetables, fruit and nuts and put them somewhere in your home where you can get at them more easily than sweets.
27. You try to convince your colleagues to replace the jar of sweets at work with a bowl of apples.
28. You make room in your calendar to spend on your hobby: music, dance, handiwork, sport, playing a game, romping with your children or your partner.
29. If you feel very sad, you let your tears roll.
30. In the street you throw chewing gum in the bin, even if it means walking to do so.
31. You say “no” again when someone asks you a second time to donate money to a cause you don’t support.
32. You tell your partner that you like it when he/she holds you for a moment.
33. You turn down the sound of television commercials and guess what they are trying to sell.
34. You say, “Stop!” when someone teasingly tickles you too hard and explain that it is too rough for you.
35. You wipe your nose with a tissue and then throw it away.
36. You know that you are a human being with weaknesses and try to find out why you are sneaking candies out of the candy jar.
37. You ask for a cup of tea when your partner wants to pour you a glass of wine.
38. You understand it when you do stupid things because that’s the only way to become wise.
39. You brush your teeth daily and get your 6-month dental check-up.
40. You say “no” again, even when someone asks you for money for the 3rd or 4th time.
Ok, those were my practical ideas. What do you have to add? Be sure to keep it positive! Can’t wait! Please write them below. Thank you!

Mireille Mettes

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