Having an argument is one of the worst things. One person can no longer see that the other person means well. One misunderstanding builds upon another. Maybe you react more strongly because of your pain. Because you feel hurt, you become silent. Whichever word or style of silence you choose, the argument remains and continues to fester in your system. You can try to make peace with it but it will always continue to bother you somewhere in the background.
Children make up
What about children? When they argue, they yell at each other or they hit each other. And then they make up again. Adults insist that they make up again. “Shake each other’s hands and say you’re sorry.” Many children eventually find that they prefer playing with the other child again to staying mad at each other. As far as this is concerned, children are more mature than adults.
Children are more mature than adults
Adults can be more childish than children, I feel free to say. They persist in arguments that are no longer about anything. Because they are hurt, they can’t hear anymore that the other person didn’t mean it like that. Words become twisted. What was said has been heard much more negatively than it was intended. They don’t hear the real reason anymore why something was said. Adults have a lot more trouble looking inside their hearts and giving someone a new chance.
If you are resentful, it’s not easy for you to forgive someone. You keep going back in your mind to what the other person said, or to what the other person did. And you keep feeling how much pain that caused you. People with a blocked liver meridian can’t forgive other people. They hold onto what the other person did and can’t get over it. They continue to cherish the resentment; they continue to carry resentment around with them. And that costs them the contact with the other person. It costs them a lot of happiness.
The photo here shows a beautiful piece of art from Alexander Milov, a Ukrainian artist. It shows perfectly how arguing adults actually feel. They are sitting with their backs to one another, in silence and wallowing in their resentment. Both hold on to their point of view and are no longer open to the other person, while deep inside, they want nothing more than to be in contact again! Deep inside, their inner child longs for nothing more than for them to be together again, to play together again.
The MIR-Method and arguing
By doing the MIR-Method, you clear the liver meridian with step 4: ‘Clear meridians’. This slowly makes you milder towards other people. Other people are also “just people” who sometimes say or do something awkward. You don’t hold on to your anger as much. And… eventually you’ll be able to forgive the other person. You can find it in your heart to see that that the other person meant well. You can even say “sorry” for your part in the argument and are able to make up. It’s wonderful to be together again!
And how about you? Have you made up with someone? Did you notice that the MIR-Method helped you with this? Are you less likely to hold on to your resentment? I’d love to hear about it! Please write about it below. Thank you!
My wish is that you listen to your inner child!
Greetings, Mireille Mettes
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P.S. Are you not yet familiar with the MIR-Method? Please go to the homepage: www.mirmethod.com. You can watch the video there and also the instruction video. Register on the homepage to receive the newsletter and 6 weeks of coaching e-mails for extra support!