Saying what you really feel about what’s going on inside of you. What you are worried about, why you are so happy with someone. It’s something that most people aren’t used to. At school you learn knowledge, facts and skills. In your work, it’s all about facts and numbers. But speaking the language of feelings is another skill. How do you make it clear to someone that you feel angry, that you are concerned, that you are afraid of something? People remain silent and hold it in. And they often do this to spare the other person because we don’t want to get into an argument and don’t really know how we should talk about it.
What do you actually feel?
Usually, we don’t learn to talk about our feelings. Not at home and not at school. We don’t know any better! And we are often not even aware of what we feel and just ignore it. Then we blame someone else for something, we sulk or keep our mouths shut without really knowing exactly why. The first step is always talking to yourself! Within the principles of non-violent communication, we speak of 4 basic emotions. That keeps things simple:
And it is so simple. You can always look at your feelings and ask yourself: am I happy, afraid, angry or sad? And once this is clear to you, you can get into a conversation with yourself and ask yourself: what has made me feel happy/afraid/angry/sad? Then you can be quiet and listen to what you hear yourself say. That’s all! Doing this is a mega-step because it will rid your life of a lot of unnecessary fuss!
Non-violent communication, unifying communication
If you want to learn the words to express your feelings, do yourself a favor and watch the videos on You Tube from Marshall Rosenburg. This man explains in a clear and illustrative manner how you can express your feelings in such a way that you won’t hurt the other person or force them into a defensive mode. Because that, of course, also plays an important role: the feelings of the other person! The book he wrote about this, ”Non-violent Communication”, is even easier to read and reads as easily as a magazine. Plain language that everyone understands.
The MIR-Method and expressing feelings
In the MIR-Method, steps 3 and 8 will especially help you with expressing your feelings.
- It begins with step 3: ‘Detach father. Detach mother’. The exemplary behavior of “feelings are not important” becomes detached from you.
- In step 8: ‘Optimize chakras and aura’; the main role is for chakra 5, your throat chakra. The more this chakra can freely flow, the easier it will become for you to express your feelings.
And how about you? Have you found that it is becoming ever easier to express your feelings since doing the MIR-Method? I’d love to hear about it from you! Please write about it below. Thank you!
My wish for you is that it becomes clearer to you what you really feel!
P.S. You would do me a big favor by posting this article to your Facebook page or forwarding it via e-mail, Twitter or Linked-In! Use the icons on the left-hand side! Thank you!
P.S. Are you not yet familiar with the MIR-Method? Please go to the homepage: www.mirmethod.com. You can watch the video there and also the instruction video. Register on the homepage to receive the newsletter and 6 weeks of coaching e-mails for extra support!