46. When People Don’t Believe You
“Your brother says that you broke this statue. Did you?” “No.” “Oh, come one, you always break things. Think again, did you let it fall by accident?”
“There’s a ghost in my room!” “Oh, go to sleep, there’s nothing there!” Click, light on. “See, there’s nothing. Now go to sleep and don’t let me hear you again!”
“Mom, Grandpa always holds me too long.” “Yes, sometimes he does that because he loves you so much.” “But Mom, I don’t like it.” “Oh, he doesn’t mean anything by it.”
“Miss Jeannie said that you tore a page out of Doreen’s notebook! You shouldn’t have done that.” “But Mom…I…”
The world becomes unsafe
These scenarios often happen: children who are not believed. They have to fend for themselves and become burdened with great confusion. Clever children know how to talk themselves out of it, but if you’re not as articulate, you can become overwhelmed with feelings and the words don’t come. The child thinks: “Mom doesn’t believe me! But it’s true?! Why doesn’t she believe me?” and the child decides: “It’s better for me to keep my mouth shut, otherwise she’ll just become angrier.” The child has to withdraw into itself and sees that there is a world that is not safe. Mom doesn’t protect me, doesn’t take my part. She doesn’t believe me. And to not lose her love the child has to conform and close the pain up inside itself. The world becomes a bit more unsafe.
What does it do to you when you are not believed?
It is undermining when the people you love don’t believe you. You let yourself be vulnerable, tell what has happened and to your amazement, they don’t believe you. It’s treated like nonsense, a fantasy story or you are called a liar. This forces you to depend on yourself: “If my own father and mother don’t believe me, who will?” A child decides to close what happened, the pictures, the memories, up inside itself and push them away. These become deep, unresolved traumas. The child can suffer the rest of its life from a feeling of loneliness and in addition: no longer have confidence in itself!
You no longer have confidence in yourself
If you are not believed, you have to deny a part of yourself. You don’t want to be rejected anymore. You want to belong. You learn through this that you can’t trust yourself because what you said or felt was not believed. Your parents said that. So you have to start thinking that your parents are right to continue receiving their love. And if your parents are right, then you must be untrustworthy. In short, what Mom and Dad say is the truth and what you see or feel is wrong.
Children become adults
People who weren’t believed as children and are now adults, live with the conviction that they can’t have confidence in themselves. The loneliness they carry within is immense. They still carry the feeling of not being believed by anyone. As well as the profound sense that they can’t trust their own perception. Someone else will know better.
The MIR-Method frees you again
If you do the MIR-Method, you work step by step on getting rid of your loneliness. Deep within, you begin to feel safe again. That happens via step 3: “Detach father. Detach mother” and via step 7: “Fulfill basic needs”. With step 4: “Clear meridians” and step 8: “Optimize Chakras and Aura”, you regain confidence in yourself and start to think like this: “If someone else doubts this, it’s their business. I know what I see and I know what I feel and I can, from now on, trust that.
Always do all 9 steps
The other steps of the MIR-Method support the above-mentioned ones. The 9 steps work together. So, always do all 9 steps, as they are explained in the instruction video!
Speak your truth
If you do the MIR-Method, you begin to feel and see more clearly your truth. You start to say more often what you think, even when that is different from the opinions of others. You become braver and dare to stick up for yourself, even when the reactions are sometimes strong. Maybe you will feel supported in this by what Ghandi said:
“When you are right, and you know that you are, say what you have to say. Even if you are the only one, the truth is still the truth.”
Do you recognize yourself in this? Do you already dare to say more about your truth by doing the MIR-Method? Do you trust your own opinion more?
Please write about it below! Thank you!
Wishing for you to once again feel completely free and dare to speak your truth!
Mireille Mettes
P.S. Will you help spread the MIR-Method? You would do me a big favor by forwarding this article to other people! Feel free to post it to your Facebook page or send it via e-mail, Twitter or Linked-In! Use the icons on the left-hand side or below! Thank you!
P.S. Not familiar with the MIR-Method yet? Please go to the homepage. You can watch the video there and also the instruction video. Sign up for our newsletter and 6 weeks of coaching e-mails for extra support!
Dear L
I am so impressed with your reply. It was an encouragement to me. Yes, you are right about finding a good Bible based church to connect with. Pray for me as I am trying to do just that after moving across the country to a new and strange invirontment … Culture shock for me . I am really struggling a LOT. I’ve only lived in NC a few months and find it very different from what I’ve known for my whole life. I have not one friend even that I can turn to, human friend. Yes, I pray and talk slot to my heavenly father.
I’ve been here only a few months … Moved here from california, where people are friendly.
California has extremely expensive housing and we could no longer live there.
I feel like I left Jesus behind but I know this isn’t true.
You were so bold to warn against three of the major cults. I stand up and applause you dear L. May God bless you for it!!!
There are many others out there also, as I’m certain you know.I pray I can find a good church I was looking but gave up, you have encouraged me to keep on looking!
Gods blessings upon you,
Fiona
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To kelly,
I empathize with exactly what you feel but please don’t ever give up, never. Do you know Jesus? I feel that its only by the grace of God that I still exist, but why?
Are you the reason? Am I here to care about you and pray for you? I wonder…. All I know is that I do care very much about your pain, very much.
I don’t have any answers for you dear one …. Not unless the Lord gives me something special to impart to you, but this would be Him, not me.
God bless,
Fiona
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I’m a elderly senior and have VERY extreme anxiety
And depression. My husband tries to control everything I think or feel. He is always telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m starting to believe him. I know I need help but he says “help yourself!”.
He has not been the same man I married ever since he had long vivid this past feburary . It wiped out about half of his memory and I feel so alone, so alone!
Best regards,
Fiona
Ps … I don’t know what this site is even about. I just read on it and thought I might find help here???
I wanted to share something interesting on my experience with the MIR Method which I love and return to again and again on this crazy thing called life. The MIR method has worked very well for me over the past 3 years since I discovered it. Thank you for the method! So simple and beautiful. It works. I practice it on and off.
The other day, a friend approached me who was becoming certified in Emotion/Body Code and needed some more people to complete her certificate. Might I be interested in a few free sessions? No touchy feely emotions psychotherapy stuff? Nope. She replied. I’m in I said! We unlocked some trapped old emotional energy. I did two sessions over 2 weeks.
I then happened to see a notification of the MIR method live and luckily I was able to join and have a very pleasant 30 minutes and we all did the method together, which was very cool. I am really experiencing very pleasant effects from both of these methods combined together. They compliment each other and enhance each other. A month ago I would of put my “joy” meter at a 5 out of 10. Presently, after a month of these two methods combined together. my “joy” meter is at a 10! wow. I am without words. I fell so wonderful. Thank you again for this beautiful method, the MIR method. You are appreciated.
I always read your articles & always want to post comments but am also always rushed & put off. This one stopped me. I can’t thank you enough for your help Mireille! I bought the stack of cards & have been passing them out. Thank you with all my heart!
Dear Summer,
And thank YOU for sharing the MIR-Method! Who knows what great results they will have in their lives. We notice the number of people reading my articles is rising, thanks to people like you. Keep going and hope people will be able to believe the important things you have to say!
Greetings, Mireille
Ghandi was murdered
Dear J,
Thank you for sharing! What do you intend to say by that?
Greetings, Mireille
I’m so glad that I have become a new person by using this MIR.Method. Thanks
Dear Akoete,
Thank you for letting me know! I am SO happy for you! Keep growing! Hope you can inspire many other people!
Greetings, Mireille Mettes
Dear Mireille!
I use the MIR-Method 10 months now but I still have emotional issues (anger,anxiety,grief,shame,skin problems,low energy,sadness etc.)I have been through a lot of negative things in my life and I am still suffering from ongoing
traumas.I live in bad circumstances we have at home a lot of conflicts even Im suffering from physical violence and emotional terror from my brother(who I love because he is my family ).He hates me because of my emotional problems and I cant move on with my life.He has truth but I am too weak for this life.I have tried a lot of therapies none of them worked.My family also use the MIR-Method but I dont see improving. Our issues are too big.I lost 2 loved ones when I was a child and I feel very insecure.There are a lot of hatred in our family.My uncle died two years ago at christmas time he was suicidal.I dont believe in life I even regret that I was born.I dont have any hobbies,talents I dont know what to do in my life.I feel I dont get emphathy from anyone.I know you will suggest a MIR-Method coach but unfortunately I cant afford it cause I live in debt.
I can’t see the way out.I also have bad experiences with doctors.
I don’t understand how will bring this method peace on Earth cause there are millions of people who live in misery and they can’t afford healing?
Therapist won’t help if you don’t have money.They think you can die its your problem.I hate live in this kind of world.People are very egoistic they don’t understand that others would need help.It won’t be peace or happiness
on Earth if we don’t want to see that lots of people are suffering.
Best wishes,
Kelly
Dear Kelly,
My heart goes out to you. You seem really down and depressed and I can read why. Why don’t you contact a therapist? You already assume they will charge you money, but it may very well be that they give you an answer or advice that can really help you, in the email.
Besides that, could you please look at the video ‘Seed of Self Love? Preferrably once every day. And maybe you should seek professional help, outside your family to get you out of this situation?
And your big question: Peace on earth can be achieved if only about 12% start to live from their heart. Every person that is strong enough and is capable of lifting up his energy, lifts up other people. Scientists have discovered that it takes only a minor part of all people to cause a ‘critical mass’. This will then influence the subconscious of millions of people! It is all about spreading the news and telling each other how we can all contribute by just helping other people. Every small act of kindness makes a huge contribution.
I hope you can start to see a little bit of hope and can trust that the phase you are in WILL pass!
Good luck, lots of strength and kindness to you!
Mireille Mettes
Merielle,
I am not a therapist, but I think this article has some good points to it; however, this article or any other therapist or program is not going to be the answer. Yes it may help as it does for others, but the only thing that is going to bring you the peace you are looking for is Jesus Christ. He made you and knows you better than you do and how you tick, just as he does me. This article is right in saying that you need to know yourself because if you can know yourself and how you tick it brings out the truth. However, this can take a lot of digging within yourself and the only way you will find the contentment and emotional rest you seek is to seek God and ask Him to reveal to you wisdom, understanding, and knowledge about your situation. Ask Him to teach you to understand and know His voice. I personally was molested by my uncle from 11-16 or 17 years old almost everyday and God has truly healed my heart, showed me protection, and clarity in the confusion. Most girls (and men) suffer immense depression and pain due to this and even continue falling into more abuse because they don’t know themselves or God and don’t have anyone to talk to about it with. My point is that if God can help me, a former victim of sexual abuse, completely walk my life healed, joyful, and victorious feeling great in life then how much more can he help you? Just wanted you to know that you are loved and cared for. I will be praying for you and hope you get to read this message!
Shaina
Dear Shaina,
Thank you for your loving words and advice. It is wonderful to feel supported and safe. I wish that for all the people. One thing you don’t have to do with the MIR-Method is to dig deep. That is the advantage. You can bring peace to yourself, just as Jesus brings it to you. I believe we are all the same, in the end, no matter how we heal ourselves and who helps us. Thank you for your prayers for me and my work!
Greetings, Mireille
Hugs to you Kelly. Your situation sounds like mine. The MIR method & the Seed of Self Love Video have helped me (& those around me) so much but took time. I put them on my homescreen to use daily. Meanwhile as an additional boost u may enjoy going to jw.org & typing n the search box: ‘Why Go On’.
A big hug to you
Hello Kelly. I stumbled upon this reply when I was looking for articles about trust on the internet.
The article accurately describes the impact and consequences of distrust. However I found that the only solution for me was going back into a Father-child relationship with God, who is alive and responsive, loving and gentle. It is a relationship we were built for as humans, and will never be fully satisfied without.
I would strongly encourage you to visit a good bible-based local church. Avoid the Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons, and Seventh Day Adventists, as they are cults.
Hope you will find the same peace and healing I have in the Lord.
L
Cet article sonne très juste. Je pratique la méthode MIR depuis bientôt quatre mois et je me connecte de plus en plus facilement à mon enfance, à ce qu’il y avait de plus irréductible en moi. Comme un sculpteur façonne la matière en ôtant le superflu, la répétition quotidienne des neufs étapes élague les comportements d’adaptation.
Cher Thysor,
Je suis très heureuse que la Méthode MIR sent bien pour toi!
Bonne chance!
Mireille
I look forward to this 2 x a day practice. It feels nurturing, comforting and hopeful.